


"I don't want to screw this up"

by S_Horne



Series: Tumblr Prompts [14]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Fluff, Getting Together, Insecure Tony, M/M, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, tiny hint of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-05 11:59:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14618046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/S_Horne/pseuds/S_Horne
Summary: “This is good,” Tony started before he groaned in frustration when the right words wouldn’t come to him, on the tip of his tongue but not coming out clearly enough. He lifted his hand and gestured between himself and Steve. “This... Me and you, as we are – it’s so good... You're my best friend and I just feel like if it goes any further, changes into something more then…” Tony broke off and sighed again before he shrugged lightly, his voice full of defeat. “I don’t want to ruin it.”/Steve and Tony finally tiptoe into new relationship territory when old insecurities make for trouble in paradise.





	"I don't want to screw this up"

**Author's Note:**

> Taken from a dialogue prompt list on tumblr by chrmdpoet
> 
> Thanks to the lovely [olympvs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/olympvs/pseuds/olympvs) for the wonderful beta-ing!!

Steve woke slowly, perfectly warm and comfortable for the first time in a long while. He yawned widely as he rolled over, seeking the extra warmth that he knew would be on the other side of the bed. He smiled when he saw Tony lying soundly next to him, one hand tucked beneath his head and the other stretched out towards Steve. Tony’s face was completely peaceful in a way it never seemed to be when he was awake, his mouth slightly open as the soft glow of the early morning sun gave him an almost halo-like radiance. Steve couldn’t help himself from leaning over to press a soft kiss to Tony’s cheek before curling himself into the other man’s chest, not expecting to fall back asleep but perfectly happy to lie with Tony anyway and just enjoy the peace of the morning.

Tony didn’t wake for nearly an hour, blinking into consciousness slowly as he looked down at Steve with a squint. Steve held his breath for a moment and his shoulders tensed, unsure what Tony’s reaction was going to be to waking up in bed with Steve cuddled into his side, but it didn’t take long for Tony’s confusion to clear and his face to break into a smile.

“Hi,” Tony said softly, his voice husky with sleep.

Steve returned his smile, relief seeping into his body as he relaxed into Tony once more. “Hi.”

“Sleep well?” Tony asked around a yawn, a hand coming up to rub at his eyes.

“Brilliantly,” Steve replied honestly, his eyes locked onto Tony’s form as though he would miss the most wonderful thing in the world if he so much as blinked. “You?”

“The best I have in months.” Though the sentence was short it was spoken surely and confidently, with Tony’s warm smile colouring his tone. Steve lifted a hand and cupped the side of Tony’s face, tilting their heads until he could lean in and capture Tony’s lips in a brief but sweet kiss.

“Breakfast?” He asked when he pulled away, his tongue darting out to catch the last taste of Tony on his lips.

“Pancakes here, or do you wanna go to Flo’s?” Tony asked as he settled into the pillows behind him.

Flo’s was the diner that Steve had taken Tony to when he had popped in to see him one evening a few months back. Steve had moved away from their home town almost a year before, and hadn't been getting back into the city much. On one occasion that he did, Tony had been stressing out about a major project that had been taking longer than usual to complete and had been running on very little more than Red Bull and coffee when Steve had turned up at Tony’s apartment to say ‘hi’. Steve had taken one look at him and rolled his eyes, pushing him out of the door and down to his car before Tony could open his mouth to protest. He’d driven him down to Flo’s diner on the outskirts of town and ordered half of the menu before Tony’s brain had blinked back online. After that, it had become something of a regular thing for them whenever Steve had gone too long without seeing Tony; he would go and steal the man away for a meal at the diner, followed by a movie back at Tony’s - so much so that the staff had learnt their orders almost by heart and knew them when they walked in.

When Steve had gotten a new job that brought him back to their hometown - and subsequently closer to Tony - their irregular hang outs became weekly ones, which began to stretch out for longer. Steve started finding excuses to stay for one more episode of whatever they were watching that week, which turned into him spending more nights crashing  on Tony’s couch instead of returning home. Unconsciously, their movie choices began to change into something a little more romantic and they started to take turns in paying the bill at the diner instead of splitting it. It had been after one of their weekly meals that their relationship had changed for the first time into something more, just the previous night.

They had decided to walk to and from the diner, the evening still light and the summer’s breeze warm and gentle as they strolled leisurely home, pleasantly full from the sundae they had split between them. They had been walking through the park when Tony stopped suddenly and turned to Steve, a hand on the other man’s arm to pull him to a halt. Before Steve could question it, Tony had surged forward and kissed Steve, his arms wrapping around Steve’s waist and pulling him close. Steve didn’t hesitate before he returned the kiss, lifting his own arms to loop around Tony’s neck, moans pulled out of him when Tony’s tongue swept across his bottom lip. It was the perfect evening, and when their lips finally broke apart their arms remained wrapped around each other, falling into bed eagerly almost as soon as Tony turned the key in his lock.

Memories of Tony’s body against his wonderfully fresh in his mind, Steve looked over to Tony with a fond grin as he pondered the question. “Flo’s, I think,” he said, pressing a soft kiss to Tony’s deliciously naked chest. “I like to think it’s responsible for finally getting us together after so long; don’t you agree?”

/

 _“You’ve reached_ Tony Stark, _I can’t make it to the phone right now, but leave a message after the tone.”_ Steve snorted at Tony’s voice in between the automated one, his angry words coming out in a growl after a long pause as though he didn’t want to say his name at all – the man was far too busy for menial things like that – but all amusement left him when he realised that Tony had ignored his call again and sent yet another one to voicemail. Steve’s texts were going unanswered too, though everyone else seemed to be getting replies when he had checked in with them frantically.

Tony was ignoring him.

It was pretty obvious; the last few weeks had been like they weren’t even friends anymore. The morning following the night they had spent together had been everything Steve had wanted, with soft smiles colouring blushing cheeks, hands interlocked on top of their usual table and sweet kisses shared over their free milkshake from the congratulatory staff.

And now this. Steve sighed angrily and jabbed his thumb to end the call, cursing the move on from flip phones when pressing the screen wasn’t nearly as satisfying as slamming the phone shut would have been.

He wasn’t going to let this keep going, Steve decided suddenly. He wasn’t going to let Tony just freeze him out and decide that this wasn’t worth it, because it _was_. Steve wasn’t giving up on this, not when they had taken so long to get there and had developed such an amazing friendship. He took a deep breath and rang Tony’s number one more time, but he cut it off before he heard the automated voice finish its first word. He didn’t want to hear that voicemail message one more time. He shoved his phone into his pocket and grabbed his car keys, determination taking over every fibre of his body as he headed out of the door.

/

“Tony!” Steve threw open the door to Tony’s loft, his hands shaking slightly as his marched through the apartment like he owned it. “Tony, are you here?” Tony had given Steve a key a long time ago for whenever he got stuck in an inventing binge and needed someone to pull him out. Steve didn’t like to use it as it always felt too invasive, but he wasn’t going to give Tony another chance to ignore him. Tony wasn’t in the living room and Steve stormed on until he paused in the doorway of the kitchen. Tony was in there, standing in front of the sink with his back to Steve as he wiped his hands on a tea towel.

“You are here!” Steve said loudly. “Tony! Why aren’t you talking to me?” Tony didn’t say anything as he kept his back to Steve, but his shoulders tensed visibly and his fists clenched on the counter. “Ugh!” Steve cried in frustration, throwing his head back and his arms up in the air. “Can you stop pulling away from me, you idiot?”

“I’m not an idiot,” Tony finally said, but he ignored the rest of Steve’s speech.

“Oh!” Steve crowed exaggeratedly, “he speaks!”

Tony rolled his eyes as he turned and pushed past Steve into the living room. “Why are you here?” he asked as Steve huffed and followed him.

“I’m here because _someone_ is pulling away from me,” Steve answered pointedly, talking to Tony’s back once more as Tony busied himself tidying the couch.

“I’m not pulling away from you,” Tony protested as he moved piles of paper from one corner of the room to the other, still without turning around.

“Sure,” Steve replied with a sarcastic roll of his eyes, “because you ignoring all of my texts and forwarding all of my calls to voicemail after we slept together is you ‘not pulling away’.”

“I’m not ignoring you, Steve.” Tony looked over his shoulder and finally met Steve’s eyes, dropping his gaze when Steve laughed humourlessly and shook his head.

“Liar.” Tony winced but made no attempt to deny Steve’s accusation. “You’re definitely avoiding me.”

“I’m not avoiding–”

“Don’t, Tony,” Steve said firmly. His disbelieving look edged on judgemental when Tony turned to face him Steve held up a hand and shook his head once when Tony opened his mouth to deny it again. “Just, don’t. Stop lying to me; I deserve better than that.” Tony sighed in defeat and twisted slightly to put the papers down onto his desk, wiping his hands on his pants and twisting his fingers into his jeans awkwardly. “Why, Tony?” Steve asked. “We were _good,_ so good. You started this – you kissed me first; you _wanted_ it! Even if you don’t want it, Tony, we’ve been friends for 10 years. We can’t throw that away because of this.”

Tony was silent for a moment more before he sighed in defeat, his shoulders dropping heavily. “I did want it; I _do_ want it,” Tony said, voice soft but earnest, “I just… I don’t want to screw this up,” he admitted finally and let out a dry chuckle. Tony should never sound like that, Steve thought to himself, so lost and broken. Steve watched as Tony lifted a hand and rubbed at his forehead, nose scrunched up and mouth twisted. As much as Steve wanted to ask, questions burning the tip of his tongue, he did his best to wait until Tony had collected his thoughts.

“This is _good_ ,” Tony started before he groaned in frustration when the right words wouldn’t come to him. He lifted his hand and gestured between the two of them. “This, me and you, as we are – it’s _so_ good... I just feel like if it goes any further, changes into new territory then…” Tony broke off and sighed again before he shrugged lightly, his voice full of defeat. “I don’t want to ruin it.”

Steve felt his heart break a little at Tony’s resigned tone and stepped closer to the man, waiting until he had Tony’s full attention and his gaze locked on his own before speaking confidently. “You won’t.”

Tony scoffed and tore his gaze from Steve’s. He was about to turn away again when Steve reached out a hand and stopped him, his fingers curled gently around Tony’s forearm.

“How do you know?” Tony asked, eyes flicking back up to meet Steve’s, hurt plain to see but also a flicker of hope. “How do you _know_ that I won’t ruin everything? ‘M not good with relationships, Steve. I get caught up in my work and I forget to do simple things like eat and sleep, never mind text you or go out on dates. I’ll hurt you, Steve. I’ll ruin everything so no. I can’t do _this_ ; I’m not good at it.”

“It doesn’t matter if you’re good at it,” Steve cut in quickly, “what matters is you want this. You’re not going to screw it up when you want it so much. And I want this too,” he added with a soft smile. “Tony, having you in my life is... it’s everything. You’re convinced you’re not good for me, but I promise you, you are. Can’t you see how much you mean to me? Yes, you can be an asshole and your words can cut deep and you rant about the littlest things-”

“See! This is what-”

“But it’s worth it,” Steve interrupted again, his voice loud and his smile wide. “I hear a funny story and I rush to my phone to tell you, or I have a bad day and all I can think about is the next time I get to see you. I can take a little forgetfulness, as long as I can be there to help you out.”

“Steve, I can’t-”

“Please, Tony.” Steve hung his head, not wanting to see the pain on Tony’s face as his heart beat a rapid staccato in his chest. Tony was so stubborn when he wanted to be and Steve was afraid that this time, Tony wouldn’t cave as he opened his mouth to argue once more.

“But surely if we want it so much, it’s only more likely to turn out like–”

“No,” Steve was quick to disagree yet another time, his tone strong and leaving no room for doubt. He thought for a second and then amended his statement. “Well, yes, okay. Chances are that we will probably screw up at some point, but everyone does. We’ll both get angry and then we’ll say stupid things or do stupid things without thinking, I’m not saying that we won’t. We do that _now_ , but we’ll work it out, Tony. We’ll find our way back, I promise.” He reached out his hand slowly and took Tony’s fingers in his own, locking them with his own tightly. He kept his gaze focused on their interlocked hands, this time Steve struggling  to meet Tony’s eyes. “We want this, and we’ll fight for it. I’m not letting you go, Tony, not when I finally have you after all this time. I want this, I _need_ this – need _you._ We know everything there is to know about each other and because we want this, we won’t let it fail.” Steve looked up when he said that, as though checking to see Tony’s response, before he continued talking. “And if we do mess up and let it fall apart, we’ll get it back. We’ll fight for it, won't we?”

Tony squeezed Steve’s fingers as a small and relieved smile began to play around his lips. “Right,” he agreed softly. “We’ve got this.”

Steve stepped even closer and lifted his hand until it rested on the base of Tony’s neck, relief washing over him as he felt the tension fall from Tony’s shoulders beneath his touch. Steve loved that he could touch Tony like this now, loved _Tony_. God, did he love him. “No more pulling away, though, alright? We’re in this together, if we’re doing it. No matter how hard it gets, you can’t pull away from me.”

Tony grinned down and leant forward, resting his forehead against Steve’s as he nodded as best as he could. “Nope,” he agreed, eyes falling closed as he relaxed for the first time since he had left Steve’s embrace the morning they’d woken up together in bed. “Never again.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come and [talk Stony with](http://s-horne.tumblr.com/) me!


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